You don't *HAVE* to eat that ..... (or do I?)

Eating healthy and losing weight is not rocket science. There are many nuances to it (in terms of carbs, fats, fiber, exercise, metabolism, etc) but the root of it basically comes down to your CALORIES IN compared to your CALORIES OUT.  If you're trying to lose weight, IN has to be less than OUT. If you're trying to maintain, they should be the same. If you're wondering why you're gaining weight, it's usually because IN is more than OUT.

Yes, it's a gross generalization.

One of the things that gets to me is that I like to think of myself as a smart person. I graduated at the top of my high school class, got a full academic scholarship to Binghamton University, graduated with a major in computer science (minor in mathematics). Being able to think and behave logically shouldn't have ever been an issue for me.

But I can't seem to ever get a handle on my relationship with food. And it makes me mad that this is so hard for me.

One of my best friends (we go back to elementary school to give you an idea) has always been relatively thin and healthy.  One time, a bunch of us had a BIG dinner out, and then came back to our house to hang out and play some geeky board games (as we are prone to do). I had a bag of Cadbury Mini-Eggs, a group favorite, but I was hesitant to open them because I knew I wouldn't be able to stop eating them. One of the other friends wanted to open it, and I finally agreed.

Five minutes later, I was eating them (of course) even though I was NOT hungry, even in the SLIGHTEST. I mumbled aloud "Stupid Mini-Eggs... making me eat them". And that same slender, healthy friend looked at me, incredulously, and said "You know, you don't HAVE to eat them." She didn't say it rudely, condescendingly, or with the tiniest smidgen or judgement. She simply couldn't understand why I would eat chocolate eggs (no matter how delicious) if I wasn't hungry.  Another of my friends (who has had similar weight struggles to myself) joked "That's why you're skinny!! We *DO* need to eat them!"

We all laughed, but that moment stuck with me. She was right. I didn't have to eat it. But I was doing it anyways. Why?

I have some theories that perhaps explain the psychology of some of my eating behaviors. I'm not against sharing in this space, perhaps someone can relate to my experiences, but that isn't going to help me fix (and ultimately conquer) these habits. Because as I've learned as a parent, we can understand and be sympathetic as to why our kids behave badly and make poor decisions (they are tired, cranky, hungry..) but that doesn't mean the poor decisions and poor behavior are in ANY way acceptable.

I need to decide that making poor health decisions is NOT ACCEPTABLE. 

I don't *have* to eat anything.