Only a Dream..

So, the other night I had a pretty vivid dream about being stressed out and around a bunch of tempting foods, mainly desserts as far as I can remember.  Someone in the dream was like  "It's ok, you're in a stressful situation -- have a <insert fatty/sugary snack here>" and I said something like "You know what? You're right. I am stressed." and ate the bad food.

I woke up and I realized I didn't do it. But I was kinda pissed off at my subconscious for cheating. And it scares me a bit because I always feel like I'm one bad decision from erasing all of the good that I've done. It's a really slippery slope for me.

Today was a bit of a challenge. I attended the Sisterhood Shabbat at the synagogue with R (My husband took L to a birthday party), and afterwards was a pretty big oneg lunch following the service. Lately they have been hiring Fairway to do the catering (since they do kosher catering) and it is DELICIOUS. I didn't really plan on eating anything, but they did have some low-carb options -- namely a green salad, a cucumber/tomato salad, lox (hey, it's salmon), and some whitefish/egg salad.

It wasn't perfect. The salad was in a vinaigrette dressing that tasted a bit sweet (there was some fruit, mango I think on top, but I mostly avoided that), the lox was fatty, and the egg/whitefish salad probably had a TON of mayonnaise in it.  But there were a lot of things I didn't give a second glance at --- namely the fruit and dessert trays, the bagels, the quiches, and the noodle kougel. Ok, I lied, I looked at the noodle kougel twice (I LOVE sweet noodle kougel), but I didn't touch it.

Aside from today, I've been pretty good this week, but I noticed a few habits creeping back like stealing an extra bite of cheese, a few extra tomatoes when I was cooking, etc..  

I made it to the gym twice this week, 2 spin classes. I pushed myself harder on the second one, and it felt good! The spin bikes have monitors that record wattage, RPM, and speed which gives you something to measure yourself against.  Plus I helped my brother-in-law move a couch today, which was more of an ordeal than it should have been. All good things for my health journey.

So I'll celebrate the victory that I handled the situation better than I could have, but I really have to be more careful in the future.  I can't let my guard down because then the progress slows and the frustration builds. I've seen it happen to myself again and again. The size 16 jeans ALMOST fit. I can get them on, but they are not comfortable. That is my next goal. I want to be wearing those jeans again!