Bad Habits and Negative Thoughts

I've been having a tough time this week, to be honest.  There HAS been some stress (R was sick on Monday, more pre-school drama, meetings, etc. disrupting my routine and precious gym time), but nothing outrageous.

But there are two things I feel I need to note about my behavior this week:

1) I've been snacking on cheese again. This was something that got out of control last time when I got frustrated. Since cheese technically is not off-plan and can count as a lean protein, it is something I knew I could take a nip of here and there and not feel like I was making a horrible decision --- especially in social situations. However, it is also a huge trigger food for me, I could pretty easily eat an entire 16oz block of mozzarella cheese without thinking twice.  Back in November/December, I was being really careful and was so conscious of my decisions --  I only allowed myself to have a bit of cheese if I knew that I had not fulfilled my protein for the day, and I even measured it on the scale.  By January, I was kind of eye-balling it, but was keeping track. This week? Ever since Superbowl Sunday, I've been actually going into the fridge, taking out the cheese, and cutting myself a slice... or two... or three. This is not good and needs to stop.


2) I've been feeling some boredom/fatigue with the medifast foods. For most of the time since November, I was not feeling deprived and I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about what I wasn't eating. But this week I've been thinking a lot of "Oh, what I wouldn't give to eat a nice sandwich" or "Mmmmm... those fries on the TV commercial look GOOD!" and "It would be so nice to go and share an ice cream with the family".

It seems so easy to just give up and relax and enjoy eating some carbs for a change. After all, it's only human to crave some comfort food. 

But there is a cost associated with it. The cost is that I derail myself from my goal of achieving a healthy weight.

Do I deserve that?

If I believe I do, then I have to be strong enough to realize that it's a more important goal than relaxing with a pint of Ben & Jerry's.

To be 100% honest... although I have not given in, right now the Ben & Jerry's sounds like a better deal. So I guess it's a work in progress. 

Focus, girl, focus!