Today was a bit tough. A lot of thoughts about the foods I want to eat, but are not conducive for my health goals. And for whatever reason, I've felt particularly hungry today which is not helpful. A part of me is wondering if it's that tiny nip of potato latkes I ate yesterday. Is my body THAT sensitive to the carbs that I could have knocked myself out of fat burn because of one tiny slip-up? Maybe, maybe not. But either way, dwelling on it won't help.
At first, I started the top paragraph with the phrase "foods I want to eat, but can't." But I heard my coach's voice in my head saying "You CAN have whatever you want. It's just whether or not that food will help or hurt your goals." The temptations are REAL and they are large this time of year. Lots of chocolate gelt, leftover latkes... friends talking about all their favorite holiday recipes and posting photos online. Lots of baking and decorating. And my sweet tooth is huge. But are they more important than getting this damn weight off once and for all? Being healthy and happy and energetic? FOR ONCE in my ENTIRE life actually feeling proud of my body? Setting a good example for my children?
I said to my husband that I really wish that I could just be in a state of "health", not one extreme or another (losing weight vs. binging and overeating until I feel ill). I would love to be that person who could have a few tastes of a decadent dessert or a fatty fried latkes for the holiday and not eat the entire plate. That person who can just make naturally healthy decisions without obsessing about food. That person who STOPS eating when they are full, no matter how delicious the food is.
I'm not sure if I will ever be the person who can do it without thinking about it. I will probably ALWAYS have to work at it. But maybe the goal is that I can be someone who, at least, doesn't have to OBSESS about it? That I can look forward to events for the company I'll keep, not the food I'll eat?
This is a good segue for the New Year's Eve conversation. More on that soon...
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