The most eventful thing about yesterday (Tuesday) was that my back was KILLING me from the raking I did on Monday. Took R for her 6-year-checkup, ate dinner pretty late, but I managed to cook a quick shrimp/veggie egg-fritata-thingie. I did nibble on some cheese (while cooking) when I shouldn't have. This is one of my more difficult foods to handle because it's technically on-plan in terms of being a protein, but it's something I can easily over-do. I've been good about making sure many of my other trigger foods are NOT IN THE HOUSE (like chocolate chips), but cheese is tricky.
Today (Wednesday) I've been feeling more hungry than usual, and I'm wondering if I knocked myself out of fat burn because of the cheese. I'm hoping not, I wasn't THAT off tomorrow, but I'm trying to reign that in before it gets out of hand.
Speaking of out-of-hand, there was family drama today. It was very upsetting.
I can't change this.
I can't change the fact that the rest of the family is so chronically afraid of conflict that I am [by default] told that *I* have to accept responsibility (no matter what) and be the one to fix it.
It bothers me a lot, though. Especially because I know I am not the kind of person I am being painted as. I've always had a problem with caring too much what people think of me, and that includes family.
It hurts me that my family always takes my feelings for granted because they know I'll always come back and be the "bigger person"
I'm still hurting a lot right now, but the one thing I haven't done is turn to food to fix the problem. I stayed on plan, and I'm ok. L (2.5year-old) was a terror tonight. I joked to myself that maybe this was karma for being such a horrible horrible horrible family member. (I'm only half kidding)
But I didn't eat my problems.
Food will not make this better.
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